You're Not Weak If You Speak

According to the World Health Organisation, isolation is strongly associated with suicidal behaviour. Considering that men are normally less prone to open up when facing a problem, the probability of a depressed man committing suicide is greater.

A research from the Mental Health Foundation confirms that and also showed that in 2017, 75% of those who committed suicide in Great Britain were males.

David had conquered everything he wanted: fame, recognition, girls; but none of that could fill the huge emptiness he had within. However, he understood the importance of opening up instead of fighting alone.

‘For the greater part of my childhood I was alone in Germany – where I was born – taking care of myself. My mother had left with one of my sisters to start a better life for us in England. Although I was left to stay with my father and older sister, they were hardly ever home. At this time, I was very young so I felt extremely neglected. All they would leave was money and food.

Because I was practically growing up by myself, I allowed other children to influence me and that was how I was introduced to sex and girls. Although this made me feel a little better about myself, it still didn’t take away the feeling of neglect, which would cause me deep sadness.

Coming to England, I had many grudges against my family for not giving me the attention that I needed as a child. It was at a party that I first experienced being seen – not simply that but being acknowledged. I was asked to dance and as I was dancing, everyone was cheering for me. At that moment, I felt good. People liked me, they noticed me. I wanted more! So I started dancing in my local area with two other friends. We began to be known in Leeds, where I was living. Many girls would come to me, as well as strangers wanting to be my friends. However, I still wanted more.

We decided to apply to Britain’s Got Talent. That was the biggest stage in my life, my chance to be acknowledged by the world. We reached the semifinals and I was even having the support of my family, but nothing filled the unbearable hole I had within me. Consequently, I just wanted to end it all.

In 2017, 75% of those who committed suicide in Great Britain were males. Sources: who.int | mentalhealth.org.uk

This was when a friend invited me to the VYG (Victory Youth Group), the youth group of the Universal Church. I felt so comfortable in that place. The people there were very welcoming and the advisers were down to earth and willing to listen to me, so I felt comfortable enough to open up. This would have been the first time I had ever opened up about what I was feeling within. Before, I didn’t want to look like a weak guy, but they didn’t seem judgmental to me and quite frankly, they weren’t. In fact, they had gone through similar problems as me and were able to overcome them. They gave me practical advice, and by applying it my life started to change little by little.Eventually, I came to understand that it wasn’t the girls, money or fame that would bring me inner happiness but something greater. I needed the peace that came from God to fill me from within. Therefore, I decided to strengthen my relationship with Him and forgive my family. This allowed us to become closer.

Summing up, I dropped everything that would intoxicate me emotionally – such as the grudges I held against my family – and worked on developing my inner strength, rebuilding myself by giving myself value. Today, I am truly happy. My family are together and united and I no longer feel that deep sadness. I love my life.’

David

Amongst my four siblings, I am the middle child and seeing our parents at each other’s throat all the time reflected on us. We had bad feelings towards each other and would fight a lot. Once it got so bad, that I stabbed my sister in the hand during one of our brawls. This led to my arrest for GBH (Grievous bodily harm). I was always very angry.

Karry

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Leandra’ life was full of problems; she had a lot of inner  conflicts and a tremendous void within. Her suffering led her to become abusive towards her sister, Mamara.

Leandra and Mamara

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